Guest post by Debbie Anderson
I see a lot of men (and women) dressed to the nines or even the elevens and still not look put together. Because despite having every lapel folded and shoelace tied, you can have all the components to an outfit right down to the smallest accessory and it won’t work. The outfit doesn’t jive, something’s missing, you’re not feeling it.
But here it is: it’s not a thing that’s missing. It’s a sensibility – confidence.
Ever see someone dressed in the most bombastic mishmash of clothes (see: Johnny Depp) and it works? Ever see someone else in an immaculate three-piece suit, a codpiece, and the perfect tie, and it doesn’t?
That’s because the wearer is wearing their soul on the outside. And either they’re being real about it or they’re not.
That’s the difference.
Yes, there’s fashion “rules” and guidelines and style advice, and you should know them, but it’s what you DO with these principles that makes you, you.
That’s what this site is all about: you being you and being stylish about it. We aim to go deeper than the same old surface-level advice because style is not skin deep, it’s made up of layers of who you are, who you want to be, and how you show that to the world. It’s not about the perfect shirt and what’s trending.
So how DO you find your inner dandy?
Let’s go back to that confidence thing. It’s where it all starts. Confidence is KNOWING. It’s an assuredness that you are right with who you are, and if someone else doesn’t like that, it doesn’t matter to you. This is different than being arrogant. This is being rooted in you, and liking who you are. The only people whose opinions really matter? Are those you love. Everyone else out there? The people in line at the mall? The girl behind the counter? Don’t matter. But you’re smart. You know. There’s certain things you must do or must not do: don’t wear sweatpants to the office, don’t have dirty fingernails, don’t wear a kilt on your first date (unless you wear it CONFIDENTLY). These things you do or don’t do because you care about yourself and you want to project your best to the world. BECAUSE YOU DESERVE IT.
Lack of confidence is not being sure, it’s an awareness that others are judging you and you care what they think. You wear that awareness like a jacket. It’s palpable; it becomes a thing. It’s a wishy washy shrug, a self-deprecating laugh, a question at the end of your sentence.
No. Be still for awhile, be quiet. You know who you are, you do. Just listen. Then once you’ve found yourself, you BE it.
That’s your inner dandy.
And your soul.
Wear it authentically, and know in your deepest deepest that your outside is a reflection of your inside.
That’s Style 101.