Guest post by Debbie Anderson.
You know those men who command a room? The guy everyone wants to be around? The man others admire and wish they could be more like?
That’s usually due to swagger – the confident way a man presents himself to the world. Swagger is a special something-something that says “I know who I am and I feel good about it.” The secret sauce of swagger isn’t a mystery at all; it’s a combo of style, charisma, and self possession, and you can have it, too. Below are some ways to find your swagger, and while you’re reading, just remember: swagger is self confidence and the complete absence of arrogance (which just makes you look like a dick).
1. Know who you are. We’ve talked about this before, but it’s worth repeating because it’s crucial to swagger. How do you want to appear to the world? Do you want to be motivated and driven, kind and fair, high above bitter jealousy? Then be it. Make the decision and project that to those around you. Take stock of your interests, your likes (and dislikes), and favorite things right down to movies, songs, and people. These things define you and your style. Then, try to see yourself as others do and determine if you like what you see. If not, make the necessary changes to become the person you aspire to be, and meanwhile: know you’re worth it. After all this, you have your personality and taking pride in WHO YOU ARE is the first step to swagger.
2. Find your swagger role models. Who embodies swagger for you? If you listen to Adam Levine and Ke$ha, it’s Mick Jagger (a man of supreme confidence and guess what? not the most handsome man in the world by a long shot). So who are your swagger icons? These people don’t need to be famous either. Maybe you had a friend from high school who had an easy self confidence or a family member who was remarkably self possessed and full of personality. Make a list of three people who have swagger down and study what it is that draws you to them. These things can be replicated in your own swagger style if it feels right.
3. Determine your swagger “type.” Are you an adorable nerd? A man about town? A business man on his way up the ladder? Because swagger is a state of mind and self belief, how you think about yourself is projected outward. Take pride in who you are, and remember: Steve Jobs was “just a computer guy” whose motivation and ambition took him far, in part due to confidence in his abilities and belief in who he was and where he was going.
4. Be proud of yourself. Think about your last great accomplishment. How did you feel? You probably had a good measure of energy, confidence and focus. You felt good about yourself and you can bet it showed. Think about this time and remember how amazing you felt and let this feeling encompass you. When you feel good about yourself, your body language shows it and this becomes swagger.
5. Don’t hate. A man of swagger is respectful toward others, doesn’t gossip or belittle, and genuinely wishes the best for others. Know why? He’s above pettiness and bitterness. He doesn’t have time for it. He’s too busy living his own life to worry about anyone else’s.
6. Have some style. We’ve talked about this, too. But once you find your style and you embody it fully, you project confidence because you are completely YOU. Dress well (this doesn’t have to be expensive) and practice good grooming because these things tell the world you know you’re worth the time. And pretty soon, the world will believe it.
You know the saying “confidence breeds success”? It’s true. Know who you are, be proud of it, and don’t look back. Now you’re on your way to true swagger.